Thursday, September 5, 2013

I have this crazy dream

I want to start an educational publishing company.  I want to make 350,000 a year... enough to hire my sister and enough to contract illustrators and marketing people.  Enough to hire my mom.

This is my dream as I sit here tonight...completely stressed out.  Grades are due tomorrow and I HATE grades.  Everyone, the kids, their parents, they get so serious about grades and I am like I wish I could just make some grades up so everybody could be happy.

I am sooooooooooooo tired of teaching.  And I feel like I am being ungrateful because I have a job.  But I HAAAAATE this job.  It is like I am in an abusive relationship.  There are some "good" parts, but my mind is so warped.

I spent hours upon hours putting in grades and checking assignments.  I had to take a sick day so I could catch up on work.  I am still not done.  ARGHHH!!!  I went to Chick Filet today and on my way there I just howled and cried.

I have some student who are just MEAN and the sight of them stresses me out.  It makes my chest hurt.  I get so tired of dealing with them day in and day out. 

I am sooooooo tired of being in charge of classrooms full of teenagers.  I feel like someone left a crying baby in my lap and I can't leave.  If feel so trapped, like I am in a fish tank and I want to swim in the ocean.

I wish my husband believed in my dream and would let me quit.  I know he thinks its just a pipe dream.

I keep thinking about all of the hours I dedicated to this job today.  What if I had dedicated it to my company.  ARGHHHHH.  SCREAM!!!


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